dear paeds..i love you but i dont like you..

I've been on my paeds rota for the past 6 weeks which i think the best rota so far despite the fact that there are more specialties to go..and I'm only half way..no, third way through..
FYI, paeds is an abbreviation for paediatrics aka 'bahagian kanak-kanak' (lawak je bile acik tanye paeds tu 'gewe' baru ke..hehe..calling your bf as paeds doesn't sound too bad though hahaa..wait till i get one haha)..

back to my main topic, in this department, you get different flavours, bits and pieces of medicine; surgery, general, community and social - u name it all! but it's a whole new world..wayyy apart from the adult medicine..here, most of the things are done differently although some still follow the usual conservative approach/way..sometimes, i feel just like a kid myself ; playing with dolls whenever i handle the baby patients, and sometimes i don't feel like a doctor-to-be at all..more or so like nursery teachers; asking toddlers what's this and that just to assess their development, talking by using their 'language', and playing 'peek-a-boo' with them!

having said that, i really enjoy dealing with the kids despite their tantrums and 'uncooperativeness'.there's no way you can be mad at them..you just feel pity and most of time, i am amused by them! deep inside your heart, you know..they are adorable without the illness and it's not them..it's the illness..and one more thing, you know..it's not because they drink alcohol like some adults that they end up being sick, or smoke packs of cigarettes until they get many kinds of lung diseases (yeah..yeah..i'm being judgmental which i shouldn't be)..but yes..their illness is not the consequence of their action.

however, paeds is not always enjoyable. having to do many on calls including one in the weekend is not nice. why? because you are NOT a doctor for god sake..you are a student and you deserve a two-day weekend. hehe..most importantly, you get depressed and teary when encountering a disturbing, out of norm case. for example, 2 weeks ago, i sat in the consultation room with a doctor and a 10 year old boy who had been sexually assaulted for almost a year by his 19 year old half brother. it was just depressing. i couldn't even look at his face or else my tears would fall in front of him. i kept staring at the doctor, refusing to let my guard down and keeping a stern emotionless face at the same time. it was just mental! last week, me and colleagues saw a 10 month old girl who was born perfectly fine and healthy but end up being blind and highly dependant for the rest of her life because of a skull fracture when she was 6 weeks old. only god knows what happened to her at that time and the father is still in the prison for that..poor thing..such a poor poor girl..

now you know why i love and hate paeds at the same time! what do you think?